Tunnel to life

You are a very good girl. You deserve the best of things in life. You might not be the most beautiful girl on earth but you are definitely the best.Forget all the wrong things you did with that guy. Dont think even about the good things you did for him. Cos he doesnt deserve u. A man who cannot keep his word to the girl he loved,cannot keep his word to anyone.He could have explained to his mom that irrespective of the religious differences you are a great girl for his family. He did not love u ever. You were just a source of entertainment for him.Let him get married to whoever his mom wants him to marry. You will have a true man to love u all ur life. Someone who will take care of u against all the storms life can bring. He will not show u his back wen things get rough.
All you have to do now is to stay away from him. There is a tunnel you have to pass.The end that you are in right now has him.The tunnel has no one other than u.it will be dark n scary. But I want you to walk looking forward, where through the other end u see light. On that side is a beautiful world where u will live with ur family and ur true love. Remember, the tunnel is the only tough part. If you stay on this side of the tunnel,you will be betrayed time and again. His family will hesitate to own u n u,alongwith ur family, will face all sorts of humiliation. In times of difficulties you will find this guy criticizing you and blamin you along with his mother and sister. If you are on the other side,you will have your man who will be proud to show the world that u r his angel. He will love you when you are right and he will correct you when you are wrong. He will never take advantage of ur love. His family will love you for the happiness you bring to them. Jus make it through this tunnel and to the other side. And you will wonder if life could get any better. If u remain on this side of the tunnel, you will remain as a laughing stock that people take advantage of and look down upon. I am with you through this. Hold on to me and walk through the tunnel. You might not see me but I am with you.

Love
God

Love

I wish I did not live this day. I so badly want to kill myself and end this torture that I am going through. The worst part is that I have to live. If not for me, then for the people who need me and the commitments that I have. I' ll take it as long as I can. When I cross the line of tolerance I'll give up. I am just a simple girl with a human heart.
About a year ago I met this Prince Charming. I fell in love with him at first sight. I was so lost in love that I, unlike me, stopped making decisions with my brain. The heart took over and made some bad decisions. Well the consequesnces of those decisions did not stab me until two days back. I came to know that the new junior I was trying to help get settled in the University was none other than the girl who would be the love of my only love.
Ever since she came into my life, reality has struck me hard. I am all broken. I have no confidence in myself. No hope for life. I have not stopped crying since I knew about their relation. My heart made the mistake but my brain is suffering too. I do not believe that I can make it big in life. The very thought of this new girl living her life with him kills me.
He will no longer wait to talk to me. If at all we bump into each other, he would not want to look at me. His love story would not have me in it. Why did this happen to me?
I never ever had a boyfriend before him. I thought he was my man. The one with whom I will live all my life and then die as his wife. I never thought twice about not having any limits with him. I loved him and his family. I made him a part of every little decision I made, every little incident that happened in my life. Cooking for him, singing for him, listening to him singing for me, waiting for hours for his call, and lot more lil things made me happier than the rest of the world.
But it is all over. I have to understand that this guy was just holding on to me till he finds someone else. Now that he has, he has ruthlessly stepped on my heart and walked out of this relation. I wish he relaizes what he has done. I wish he understands that he is not a man. I wish I realize that I do not need such a wimp in my life. I deserve someone better.

The Price of Nothing

I left my mom back in India 4 months after my dad's sudden death. I borrowed loans from everywhere I could. Did all the preparations with no help from anyone. All this just so that I could take my career forward in the United States of America. It did not seem like a big deal to me then. Now it definitely is not a big deal. For all that it is, I have lost even the little things I had in India. Little things which made me happy. Which made me look forward to each day as it begins. The delicious food mom used to cook, my room, my bed,shoppin with cousins,useless hours spent at Coffee Day,loud music while I bathe for an hour,etc etc. My life was never easy. Every lil bit of pride my parents felt for me was hard earned. But now all of a sudden,life jus seems so meaningless. When I stop and look at my life, I dono which part of it excites me to live more. I hate going to work. I hate going to my apartment. I dont hav friends to hang around with. My first and only love has disowned me. As if all this wasnt enough, I am putting on weight!

I really wanna feel happy. Not just pretend to be happy but BE happy. If God came to me and granted me 1 wish, I wouldn't know what to ask. Maybe I ll want him to send me back to India. Or else ask for a great position in career. Maybe having the love of my life back would qualify too. Above all I just need a hug. I just need someone to talk to. I need a life.....